I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse starts with certain basics.

How much do you weigh?’ she asks. I reply 135

The nurse puts me on the scale. It turns out my weight is 180.

The nurse asks, ‘Your height?’ I say 5 foot 8.

The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5’2″.

She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.

“Of course it’s high!” I scream, “When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I’m short and fat!”

She put me on Prozac. What a bitch.

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