Dear Consumas:

It has come ta our attention dat a cupola copies of the Windows XP New Joisey Edition may have been shipped outsida Joisey. If ya got one a dese, youse may need some help unnerstanin da commands. Da Joisey edition may be recognized by da unique openin’ screen. It reads: “Windas XP”, wit a background pitcha a Hoboken. When youse start da program, instead a da usual stringy like music, you hear a little Springsteen. It’s also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

Please also note:

*Recycle bin is labeled “Newark”

*My Computer is called “My Friggin’ Computa”

*The Inbox is referred to as “Da Trunk”

*Deleted items are referred to as “Wacked”, “Erased” or “Rubbed Out”

*Control Panel is known as “The Bosses”

* Performing an “illegal operation” is known as “Enhancin’ da Family Business” and will actually maximize da program instead a shuttin’ it down

*Hard Drive is referred to as “Da Turnpike on Da Way to Da Shore”

*Instead of an error message, “You Ain’t Gonna Friggin’ Believe Dis'” pops up.

Changes in Terminology in Da Joisey Edition:

OK . . . . Sure ting
Cancel . . . . Fugetaboutit
Reset .. . . . Start ova
Yes . . . . Yeah
No . . . . Nah
Find . . . . Put a Contract Out On it
Browse . . . . Get a Looksee
Back . . . . U-Toin
Help .. . . . Get Your Own Friggin’ Ansa
Stop . . . .Knock it Off
Start . . . . Move it
Settings . . . . Here’s da Rules

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you mistakenly got a copy of the Joisey Edition (not). You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version. You gotta problem wit dat?