Happy Birthday mom!  Today you would have been 80 years young.

It’s hard to believe that it has been only 5 months since you left us and even harder not to pick up the phone to call you and wish you a happy birthday.  But today, I celebrate your life and the memories that you have created for me.  To remember your laughter as we chatted about various things from the weather, to your grandchildren, to what was going on in my life.  Listening to you speak in half English and half Japanese to me.  (something that I really miss hearing) Wishing that I could hear your voice once more, for only just a minute.  We used to talk for hours on end about just anything and nothing.  I miss watching my  kids talk to you, knowing that they sometimes had a hard time understanding what you were saying.  They would smile at me and shrug their shoulders, but just kept talking to you, telling you that they loved and missed you.

I remember visiting you in the hospital in Billings, MT, spending days and evenings with you.  Some times we would talk, some times we would just be quiet in our own thoughts.  But every night before I left the hospital, I told you I loved you and that I’d see you the next day.  I remember that last night I saw you (as I had to go home) that you gave me a kiss and a hug and a special longing look, like you were memorizing my face.  I remember turning around to look at you in your hospital room, wanting to turn back and not go home.  I left that night with a heavy heart.  That night, that moment,  is something that I will always remember.   No words can ever express that feelings that I felt.  As I looked back, I know you were saying “good-bye” to me, even though you never really said the words.  It is something I will cherish all my life.

So today, mom, I want to wish you a Happy Birthday and to remember you as you were – strong, brave, loving…special.

You may be gone from this physical earth, but you live within me every day, every moment, every second.

Happy Birthday, mom….I love you

Memories

 

I feel a warmth around me

like your presence is so near,

And I close my eyes to visualize

your face when you were here,

I endure the times we spent together

and they are locked inside my heart,

For as long as I have those memories

we will never be apart,

Even though we cannot speak no more

my voice is always there,

Because every night before I sleep

I have you in my prayer.

-Louise Bailey

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